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Gift Guides Holidays

Gifts for Her - 2020

Sunday, November 15, 2020


Where all my jingle ladies at?!?! 

Today, I'm sharing some of my favorite gift ideas for all the gal pals in your life. For even more ideas, be sure to check out the Gifts for Her tab on the blog as well as some of my gift guides from previous years here and here. 

Photo from my girls' trip to NYC a few Christmases ago. I loved every second and can't wait to go back!


Like I've said before, my gift guide for women is always the easiest to create because I just think of things I already have and love OR of things that I'd love to have gifted to me. 

And one other special gift giving tip for 2020: you absolutely can't go wrong with loungewear or pajamas. 😂 Keep scrolling to check out what I've rounded up this year. 





Happy shopping!



*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

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Gift Guides Holidays

Gift Guide for Kids - 2020

Wednesday, November 11, 2020


It's that time again!! Haul out the holly, and buckle up, because it's gift guide season! And, to kick it all off, I'm sharing some of my favorite gift ideas for kids. Now, this gift guide has a broad range of gift ideas for children of all ages. Be sure to check out my Gifts for Kids tab on the blog to get even more ideas. 






If you're like me, you have children of many ages in your circle that you're buying for. This year, I'm planning on giving gifts to kiddos ranging from age 1 to 21 (ok, so 21 is an adult, but I still view her as my baby cousin). Like I said last year, it can be challenging to find the perfect gift for someone who (1) is in a completely different life stage than you and (2) isn't even your own kid. I still stand by the ideas that gift cards never hurt anyone, toys without batteries get you brownie points with parents, and gifts for infants should actually be gifts for the parents. However,  a new tip I've learned in the last year is the Four Gift Rule. 

My sister has two children now, and on her first Christmas as a mother she realized just how overwhelming the pressures of giving your kids the "best Christmas ever" each and every year can be. She read about the Four Gift Rule which suggests giving your kids something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read, and it's really helped guide her shopping these last few years. Now, as the self proclaimed "cool aunt," I sometimes have to stop myself from buying my nieces and nephews excessive amounts of gifts. So, I try to just pick out one or two items and make sure they fit into one of those Four Gift categories. However, most of my gifts usually fit into the "something they want" category because, again, I'm the cool aunt. 😎

Cool Aunt Abby doling out gifts 


Matching vest I gave to my niece, Harper, last year!
It was found in debris from the tornado this Spring! 👏👏👏


Happy shopping!

XOXO, 

Abby 



*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

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Fall Fashion Fashion Holiday Fashion Holidays Style Tips

Thanksgiving Outfit Ideas

Sunday, November 8, 2020

 

It it not lost on me that the holidays this year may look different or even be completely non-existent for some. My family is still hoping to have a small get together for Thanksgiving, but of course, that could quickly change in the next few weeks. In years past, I've usually dressed up for Thanksgiving, but honestly, my standards have gotten lower and lower with each month of 2020 that passes. 😂 So there's no telling what I'll show up wearing this year. 



This dress comes in a ton of colors and would be a great holiday option!







No matter what kind of Thanksgiving you're having this year, these four looks are guaranteed to keep you cozy and comfy while you stuff your face. Keep scrolling to check them out!







*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

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5 Things Faith Featured Lifestyle

5 Ways to Avoid "Stuff-Envy"

Monday, October 19, 2020

 

I recently came across the phrase "stuff-envy" in a First5 app devotional on Ecclesiastes 6. In the lesson titled Roving Appetite Recovery, Wendy Pope discussed how, "even as an adult [she] struggled with an appetite for what others had." She reminded readers that, "obsessing over things we desire robs us of the joy of God's blessings." 

If you've been a follower of mine for a while, you know that the concept of"stuff-envy" is something with which I've really struggled. I've considered shutting down Abbylish on multiple occasions mostly due to the moral quandary of promoting materialism when it's something that can so consume my own life. 

While it seems so obvious and easy to just find satisfaction in God rather than things, it's not always so simple to make that mind shift. So today, I'm sharing five practical ways to avoid "stuff-envy" and to help correct a "roving appetite" from the inside out. These are just some of the applications that I've put into place in my own life over the past few years that I've found to be successful and beneficial. 




1. Get off social media

This is obviously hard for me to recommend because I don't want to lose my online friends and followers. But, I know first hand how cleansing an extended break from social media can be. 

It's amazing how much you stop caring about what everybody else is doing when you just don't see it 24/7. You can't have FOMO if you don't even know it's happening in the first place! I encourage you to take a social media hiatus every so often, whether for a week, a month, or even longer and see how it makes you feel. I guarantee you won't regret scrolling the internet less. 



2. Do NOT create more storage

Another reason we can't have kids any time soon is that I'm using every square inch of storage space in our  home (including both spare bedrooms and closets) for my own crap. Greg and I have talked about opening up access to our attic, but honestly, our current lack of storage space deters me from buying a ton of things I don't need. Sometimes more space = more things to fill it.

Do I want a Christmas tree in every room of the house, each with their own holly jolly theme? Of course! But I don't have the room to store them, and so I'm forced to recognize the fact that said Christmas trees aren't a need and that I can even *happily* live without them. 



3. Two Week Rule 

My mom once told me that if you didn't wear something within two weeks of purchasing it, return it. Not sure where she first heard that advice, but it's some of the truest in my life. If you're not dying to wear it the next day after buying it, you will most likely lose interest. That's why I have a love/hate relationship with events like the Nordstrom Sale. You get yourself all hyped up for overpriced sweaters and boots in JULY, months before you can even wear them!

Basically, the Two Week Rule helps you decipher if the stuff you're envying will actually serve you in some way. It helped me realize that I don't need to buy any business-type clothes. I can appreciate a structured blazer or a pencil skirt, but I know that I'm rarely ever going to find myself in a time or place where I will need those pieces. So, while I may be tempted to buy them, when I really stop and think about it, I know I don't need them. Same with "church dresses." I grew up attending a more traditional "Sunday best" church where I wore pretty dresses every single week. Now, Greg and I attend a gathering with a more casual vibe, so the formal dresses just aren't really a necessity in my closet anymore. I'm still so attracted to pretty frocks, but I have now realized that my money is better spent elsewhere. 



4. Refresh > Hoarding

Another rule I've adopted in life is: if you do get something new, get rid of something old. Channel your inner Marie Kondo and occasionally declutter areas of your home. As hokey as it sounds, I love her idea of "thanking" the items for serving you when they did and sending them on to a new life! Try not to feel like you're losing something by donating or selling old items. Consider the fact they're going to get much more use from a new owner than they will by sitting in storage at your house. 



5. PRAY!!

I guess I should have listed this as number one, because it really should be your first line of defense. Pray for God to fill your heart with love for Him instead of things. Ask Him for wisdom and strength to overcome the struggle of "stuff-envy." And thank Him for the many blessings in your life. I've often found that when you stop and focus on all of the things, experiences, and relationships God has already blessed you with, those things that you seemingly don't have start to lose their importance. 



If you struggle with "stuff-envy"like I do, I hope these suggestions are helpful. Please know that I don't believe consumerism, shopping, or even materialism to be inherently evil things. However, when not kept in check in my own life, they can grow into sinful idols that rob me of the abundant life that Jesus came to give me.  

Let me know if you have any other suggestions to keeping "stuff-envy" at bay. Prayers for all of you who may be working on this with me!

XOXO, 

Abby 

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Holiday Fashion Holidays

Easy Halloween Costumes

Sunday, October 11, 2020


I've always enjoyed dressing up in fun Halloween costumes. When I was a kid, I would plan my costumes months in advance. Some of my most memorable Halloween costumes were Disney's Esmerelda (I think I was 5, and I was OBSESSED), an 80's Valley Girl (I was in high school and my girlfriends and I nailed the looks), and when my sister and I dressed up as Sonny and Cher (guess who was Sonny #bowlcut).

Not sure what your Halloween plans entail this year, but who says you can't dress up even if you're just partying at home. I've rounded up some simple costumes that are easy to throw together and won't cost you a lot of time or money. In fact, you may even have some of these pieces in your closet already!

Keep scrolling to check them out and maybe even see some spooky photos from Halloweens past! 😂




Wednesday Addams



Kelly Kapowski



Rachel Green



Flapper Girl 

 



Rocked the Flapper Girl costume last year for a Murder Mystery party



"My Pleasure" 2018



Stranger Things Season 2 Joyce & Hopper - 2017



Zack & Kelly - 2016



Hipster-ween 2015



Valley Girls 2008!



Esmerelda and Friends. Love this photo. 💗 1997??



Baby Nurse circa 1994


Hope you've enjoyed this little Halloween walk down memory lane! I love to go all out with a solid costume, but I also sort of love the challenge of making a costume out of pieces I already have. Bonus points if I can make it a couples thing and force Greg to participate!

Hope you guys have something festive and safe planned for Halloween. Send me all of your best costume ideas. 

XOXO, 
Abby




*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*


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Lifestyle

How I Survived COVID-19

Sunday, August 30, 2020

Ok, so the title of this post is a bit dramatic.

While Greg and I both, in fact, came down with COVID-19 a few weeks ago, our symptoms were never super serious, and we were able to self treat and recover without any trips to the hospital. I guess a more accurate title would be, "How I Survived Quarantine" as this post is centered on all of the things that kept me sane during my 10+ day stay at home. Thankfully, my symptoms were mild in the grand scheme of things (I never even broke a fever), so the house arrest was, by far, the worst part. 

As if being on lockdown wasn't bad enough, this quarantine also fell during my 21 Day fast from social media. When mindlessly scrolling the socials would have been the easiest way to pass my time, I tried to avoid it. (Disclaimer: I did log on a few times for various reasons, but I tried not to linger). Ultimately, I know that having endless access to Instagram and Facebook would only have accentuated my FOMO and definitely wouldn't have made this quarantine any better, so I'm glad I stuck it out. 

I obviously hope and pray that none of y'all also contract COVID, but in case you do, (or you just find yourself stuck at home for whatever reason) here are some of the things I did to pass the time. 




1. Puzzles

My sister brought us some jigsaw puzzles as well as books of (easy) crossword puzzles and word searches. Those have been such life savers. They require some brain power, but not too much, and they were a welcome break from when we just couldn't look at a screen for another second. 


2. Read

By the grace of God, I got a library card the week before I got COVID. Greg bought me a Kindle for our anniversary back in July, and I have several books that I want to read but am not actually invested enough  to purchase them and keep them forever. I downloaded the Libby app so that I could read some library books on my Kindle.  That being said, if I hadn't gotten the library card in time (you have to go in person to get a library card which obviously wouldn't have been feasible while quarantining), I probably would have just bought the books. Reading was a great a way to pass the time. 

Y'all know I love everything written by author, Beatriz Williams. I'm already caught up on all of the novels she's written so far, so I've started on her collaboration novels that she wrote with Karen White and Lauren Willig. There are three, and they're just as good as her stand alone work! 


3. Home Project

There were a few days during quarantine when I actually felt pretty miserable and was definitely not getting off the couch. But, once my energy returned, I was itching for something to do. I've been so inspired by this photo from Pretty on Fridays, and I'm wanting to do a sponge accent wall in our guest room. Unfortunately, I thought I had enough leftover paint from another project to go ahead and tackle this. But, alas, I did not. So, this project will have to wait until I can go to a paint store! I looked into Clare paints which can be shipped to your door, but it appears as though they only come in gallons, and I really don't need that much. 


4. Piano

I took piano lessons during most of my school years, and I have a nice electric piano that my Dad let me borrow (does it still count as borrowing if I've had it for over five years???). I've gotten pretty rusty, but it's crazy how fast an hour goes by when I sit down to play. * This is especially ironic because my teacher used to have me practice 30 whole minutes a day, five days a week. At the time, that was practically torture!! 😂 Anyway, what better time than quarantine to brush up on an old skill? 


5. Record Player

For Christmas last year, Greg and I bought my Dad a little record player so that he could dust off his vast collection of old vinyls. Since then, we became interested in getting into the hobby of record collecting ourselves. After a few fails (some cheap record players are just that...CHEAP) and many YouTube rabbit trails, we finally landed on a nice, affordable record player that's perfect for beginners. We've been loving the records we've bought so far, but we're looking forward to the day that we can visit a record shop in person and search for some hidden gems. 


6. Podcasts 

The most strenuous thing I've done in the last two week is take Luna on a few walks. I love listening to Podcasts while we walk. They were also great background listening for when I was working on my puzzle (I realize that was the most Grandma statement ever, but this is where we've come, people). These are my current favorites:

  • Absolutely Not with Heather McMahan - NOT appropriate to listen to with kids around 
  • Be There in Five - This podcast has been around for 2 years now, but I'm just now getting into it. Host, Kate Kennedy, seems to like literally all the same things I like, so I've been enjoying it. 
  • Correct Opinions with Trey Kennedy - for more family friendly laughs
  • The ASMR Garden - Ok this is weird, but I went down a deep rabbit hole learning about ASMR one night during quarantine. If you don't know what it is, I encourage you to give it a Google. Whether you're into it or not, it's definitely intriguing. Anyway, I found this podcast, and it is the best thing ever to get you off to sleep. When you listen, you get so relaxed, your head gets all tingly, and before you know it, you're out like a light. 
  • Zack to the Future - Haven't actually started this one yet, but it's about Saved By The Bell so it's a no brainer for me. 


7. Early Christmas Shopping

There was honestly no point in buying a single thing for myself during this time (that's not to say that I didn't purchase a few things for myself) because I've been wearing sweats for 10 days straight. And, I really don't plan on rushing out into tons of social activities once I'm free to leave the house. God forbid I get the 'rona AGAIN!! Anyway, I started scoping out some gift ideas the other day to go ahead and get ahead of the holiday game. I love having my Christmas shopping done early. And, hey! One positive of this absolute dumpster fire of a year is that, at this rate, I could have all of my shopping done by next month! 

I went ahead and started a few gifting tabs on the blog that will help you find the perfect Gifts for Him, Gifts for Her, and Gifts for Kids no matter what time of year. I'll obviously be updating them as I find new things, so by the actual holiday season, there should be tons of ideas!




What a weird, freakin' year this has been. I've never wanted time to move faster than I want it to right now. Which is so strange for me because, all my life, I feel like I've wished for more time or for time to go slower. My mother always cautioned me not to "wish my life away."

I'm doing my best to continue living by that motto. I'm striving to keep the faith, and I try to distract myself from feeling lousy by counting my blessings, which are abundant. But the fact remains...this year has just been crappy! Regardless, I have this feeling that I may reflect back on this time of quarantine, and this year in general, with a few fond memories...maybe?? hopefully?? Even though it was a challenging several days, (here, I'd like to you visualize Greg making the absolute most noise he's ever made in his life while I'm attempting to meditate in Savasana pose), I've enjoyed finding different and creative ways to occupy my time. Ways that don't include keeping up with the news, politics, or what everyone else is doing. 

Whether you have COVID or not, I'm sure you're spending more time than ever within the walls of your own home. As the colder seasons approach *sigh*, I hope this rundown of things that helped me ward off cabin fever will bless your life in some way. I'd also love to hear any of your own tips, tricks, and ideas that you've implemented during this year of social distancing. 

XOXO, 

Abby



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However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

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Faith Featured Lifestyle

21 Days of Prayer & Fasting - Round 2

Monday, August 3, 2020


It’s that time again! From August 9th to August 30th, I’ll be participating in another round of 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting with my church family. This is something that we are encouraged to try twice a year. I finally participated in my first 21 Days this past January (more on that HERE), and honestly, I’ve been looking forward to the next one ever since. 



I’m going to be fasting from social media again this time around, specifically Instagram and Facebook. I just feel l like social media is the biggest cause of personal unrest in my life as well as the main thing that pulls me away from a deeper relationship with God. Especially with the crazy year we’ve had, I’m welcoming this reset (not to mention the break from everyone else’s feelings, thoughts, and opinions). 



>




What I’m looking forward to most:

1. Rebuilding a deeper relationship with the Holy Spirit
2. Missing the Nordstrom Sale (aka NOT stressing myself out over something trivial and NOT sharing winter clothes in 80 degree heat)
3. Enjoying the rest of Summer instead of feeling the pressure to rush into Fall 


Goals I have (and hope to maintain after the 21 days):

1. Clean my oven 😆
2. Practice Yoga at least once a week / work on flexibility & meditation
3. Remember not to replace social media with other things that keep me unnecessarily busy






This time around, I'll also have the added dynamic of Greg working from home. I'll have to admit, I've allowed him being at the house more to stifle my morning Bible studies and quiet time. Not to mention, my patience has been growing thinner and thinner over the last few months (another thing to work on during this fast). 😇

However, despite challenges old and new,  I'm eager to begin. Praying for eyes to see and ears to hear. Praying that I emerge 21 days later with new clarity and discernment and an overall refreshed feeling. And most importantly, I pray that I know God more in 21 days than I do right now. 

If you're interested in a little mid-year reset yourself, I encourage you to join me!! You don't have to fast from social media like I am. You can choose to fast from television, shopping, or even a literal meal. Chances are you probably know right off the top of your head the thing you most need a break from. During the fast, spend the extra free time you have communing with God in some way. Whatever works for you. I enjoy writing in a prayer journal, reading God's word, or completing an interactive Bible study (I love the First5 app). Let me know if you plan on participating as well! I'd love to hear about your journey and what you learned when it's all said and done. 

Best wishes and lots of love! 

See you in 21 days!

XOXO, 
Abby 




*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

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Fall Fashion Fashion NSALE Sale

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2020

Friday, July 31, 2020
Ahhhh, the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. A craze that suddenly fills your Instagram feed with bloggers and shopaholics sharing faux fur coats, chunky sweaters, and suede boots in the DEAD of summer. I've only been shopping the N-Sale for the past two years, and I have to be honest, it's a little anxiety inducing. It's completely counterintuitive to be buying fall/winter items when temps will remain in the 80s (at least in Tennessee) well into October. And, like I said last year, "I hate that the power of influence makes you feel like you're missing out if you don't buy seventeen cowl neck sweaters just to put them away in your closet until December." 


Topshop flare legs jeans were an N-Sale purchase from 2018.
Also, took this photo in August. V Sweaty here. 😰


Steve Madden OTK boots were also a 2018 purchase.
Worn these babies a lot! New version out this year. 


Finally jumped on the Spanx leggings bandwagon last year.
I like to wear them with oversized sweaters and boots or make them more "athlesiure" by wearing them with sneakers, a tunic, and vest. 


 Even at the sale prices, I still find most N-Sale items I'm interested in to be splurges, so I plan on sticking to some advice I heard last year: To avoid overspending, feeling overwhelmed and wondering why the heck you bought so much stuff you truly don't need, focus on only purchasing two to three items you are really loving. And remember, nothing from the N-Sale is worth going into debt over!!! I cannot stress enough that most items you see in the N-Sale will be similarly recreated at cheaper prices by other retailers later in the season. 

Last year I only bought two things and ended up returning one. The year before, I bought two items as well. While I've scoured the entire Sale Preview online, I plan on only purchasing the following pieces this year.


1. Barefoot Dreams Cardigan - $67 / Originally $114


I wanted to buy a Barefoot Dreams cardi lsat year, but I'm glad I didn't. I wasn't totally sold on the style of last year's versions (not to mention the high price tag). Like the Spanx faux leather leggings that I purchased last year, I'm honestly just interested to see if this sweater lives up to the hype. *Side note: the Spanx leggings were a hit. 


2. Patagonia Vest - $70 / Originally $100


I LOVE a good vest situation in the winter months. If you have any winter/holiday sightseeing plans, a nice vest is the way to go in my opinion. *Taking a moment to weep over the fact that we aren't going to NYC in December like we hoped.* 


3. Laura Mercier Caviar Stick Eye Color Trio - $58 / Originally $87


If I do end up purchasing these, it will be the first time I've ever bought anything other than clothes from the Nordstrom Sale. The N-Sale offers several discounted handbags, accessories, make up products, and home goods. Fellow Cookeville local and beauty blogger, Shelbey Wilson (whose videos have greatly improved my limited make up skills), raves about the Laura Mercier Caviar Sticks. I'm excited to try out this trio!



A Few More Tips

As they do every year, Nordstrom credit card holders have the opportunity to shop the Anniversary Sale first. Your cardholder status  (Icon, Ambassador, Influencer, or Insider) determines the dates when you're allowed to shop. To all of those who don't plan on paying with a Nordstrom Card (🙋), Public Access to the sale begins on August 19th and goes until August 30th. 


Historically, Nordstrom restocks some items that have sold out during Early Access. However, this cannot be guaranteed. Again, I'm not telling you to sign up for a Nordstrom Card by any means. Remember, if what you want doesn't get restocked, it probably wasn't meant to be! And, you will most likely find something similar later in the season.

Be sure to check out the N-Sale Tab I've created with all of my favorite sale picks this year!

Also, if you love something I've recommended and take the time to shop through one of the links that I share, I get a small commission from Nordstrom! Taking the extra steps to ensure you're using my links means the world to me and helps me keep Abbylish up and running. 

Best of luck in all of your sale shopping endeavors! Can't wait to see how good we all look in the fall. Fingers crossed we can actually go places then! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 But seriously....

Lots of love!

XOXO, 
Abby



More Sale Items I'm Loving




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However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*
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5 Things Faith Lifestyle Relationships Wedding

Anniversary Insights - 5 Things We've Learned in 5 years

Saturday, July 11, 2020

Y'all know I can't resist sharing a list with you guys, especially if the list contains five things (more of said lists here, here, and here). The number 5 has always been my lucky number, so it only makes sense that I should share another "5 Things" post on my fifth wedding anniversary! And buckle up because this is actually a list full of lists! I am who I am. 

This has, by far, been the strangest, year of marriage Greg and I have experienced (lest we forget the tornado, quarantine, and subsequent brief period of unemployment). But maybe since it's our fifth anniversary, that's a good omen?? Hope so!


July 11, 2015


Therefore, in honor of our fifth wedding anniversary, I consulted with Greg, and we decided to share five things we've learned over the last five years together.  I've considered doing wedding/marriage themed posts on our anniversary in years past, but I've always ended up deciding against it. Mostly because I don't feel like I'm a credible source for advice. 😂 And specifically regarding wedding advice, my hesitancy towards sharing my thoughts is three fold: 
1. With the current events going on in the world, many couples are postponing or cancelling weddings, and unfortunately, I don't' have any experience with that. 
2. Most of my followers are not currently in the bride season of life. 
3. Other than my choice of groom, I found my own wedding to be, at best, underwhelming, and at worst...disappointing. 

I can give you a laundry list of what I would have done differently, but that’s a story for another day. Plus, it's not the most cheery of content, now is it? 

Honestly, when asked (which thankfully isn't often), the advice I give to young couples regarding weddings is this:

Save your money and ELOPE. Plan a celebratory party later. 
or
Spare no expense and have the wedding of your dreams.
There is no in between.

Personally, I was so concerned with budget and worried about being viewed as a bridezilla that I felt like I cut corners and compromised on so many things. And yet now, 5 years later, I can’t even remember most of that day. Riddle me that. So all of my stressing really wasn't even worth it. 
Regardless of how I perceive my own wedding day, I snagged a hottie husband out of it, so I’d still call it a win. 


We had our programs printed on fans because it was the hottest day of the century. 

Donuts from Ralph's instead of wedding cake!



SO! Moving onto the good stuff. 


5 Things We've Learned in 5 Years of Marriage

1. Communication is Key
I know that this point (maybe in this exact wording) can be found in almost every book or article touting relationship advice. But that's just because it's so true! In fact, pretty much every point I list after this somehow relates back to good communication. 

One of the most important things I've learned regarding communication is that, as much as you want them to, men. cannot. read. minds. ðŸĪŠ If you want your husband to do something or know something, you have to tell them. Sure, Greg has surprised me a few times and done something like clean the house while I'm stuck at work or plan a weekend getaway. But ultimately, you must communicate things that you want him to know.

Also, after being disappointed a few too many times (due to my lack of communication), I've started planning things myself. If I want to do something for my birthday, I organize it. If I want dinner reservations for Valentine's Day, I make the phone call.  Though I do think that Greg could stand to read between the lines a little bit more, I have to remind myself that it's not fair to hold him to standards that he never even knew existed. 

There's a phrase I've heard somewhere before that says something like, "expectation without communication leads to disappointment." This is something I'm still working on daily, but if you create a home that is a safe space to talk to each other about anything, you can freely communicate your expectations with one another and hopefully avoid disappointment and frustration! 


2. Determine the Vacation Planner
Growing up, my dad was always the vacation planner in our family. I think he literally enjoys the logistics of planning trips. Maybe more so than the actual trip! I always assumed it was a "man thing." However, Greg always experienced trip planning as a "woman thing" seeing as his mom usually booked all of their family vacays. Unfortunately, we didn't figure out this little discrepancy until a few years into our marriage. After a a couple of trips where we stayed in absolute DUMPS and Greg stressed about every detail, I realized that he truly hated organizing and planning. I offered to take over planning our getaways in the future, and his response was something along the lines of, "thank goodness, I thought you'd never ask." 

While this may be a silly example, the main point is to consider loosely defining some "roles" in your marriage. Know your own weaknesses and allow your spouse to take over when necessary and vice versa. It all goes back to the first point. Communicate, communicate, communicate!

3. Pray to be a better spouse.
Ask God to equip you with the tools and knowledge to better understand, appreciate, and respect your spouse. If you BOTH consistently pray for this, you’ll be on the right track. 

A Helpful Diagram

4. Remember the Past
Some of the things that annoy me the most about Greg are some of the qualities that initially attracted me to him: his steadfastness, predictability, responsibility, attention to detail, and sense of security. I try to really remember how appealing these attributes were (and still are) to me whenever they frustrate me. 

5. Go On Dates
This is another one of those obvious tips that you hear over and over again. But, again, that's because it's true! Greg and I try to have some form of a date night at least once a week (granted, it's been slim pickings recently thanks to the 'rona). It doesn't have to be anything super formal, but there's still something fun and special about looking nice and going out like you did when you were first dating. Even better, leave your phones in the car. That way you can truly converse, or dare I say, communicate?? 


We had a small wedding party with just our siblings and cousins. 


Now, I'm not pretending to be an expert on marriage. With just five years under our belts, Greg and I have a lot left to learn. But, these are the biggest nuggets of wisdom I've gleaned in the last five years. Whether you're engaged, newly married, or have spent a lifetime with your spouse, I hope a point or two from this list will resonate with you and inspire some new growth in your relationship.




To end, I thought it would be fun to share a few anniversary gift ideas. I'm a sucker for the traditional yearly anniversary gifts. If you didn't know that was a thing, give it a Google! It's so fun to see all of the old traditions and the new modern versions of gifts that people have come up with as well. Keep scrolling to get a few ideas (just for years 1-5...I don't have all day, people!). Even if you've been married longer than five years, or not at all, maybe you'll still get a few fresh gift ideas.


1st Anniversary: Paper
Think personalized stationary, a new bible, or a custom couples portrait!




2nd Anniversary: Cotton
Greg literally bought me a single stick of decorative faux cotton for our second anniversary. 😂




3rd Anniversary: Leather
To all the men out there, Louis Vuitton makes excellent leather products. Just sayin'!




4th Anniversary: Fruit/Flowers
Honestly, the best thing you can do here is get an Edible Arrangement.




5th Anniversary: Wood
You can just use your imagination to guess what crude comment Greg made about a "wood" gift. ðŸ˜ģ






What are some of the most important things you've learned in your relationships? Do you give traditional anniversary gifts or come up with your own? Maybe you opt for no gifts at all?? Let me know!

Wishing you all the best, forever and always!

XOXO, 
Abby


*all photos by Zach and Sarah

*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.
However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*
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