I am not in a great place right now.
My family and I are still reeling from the physical and emotional trauma of a devastating tornado three weeks ago that directly affected my sister and her family. On top of that, I returned to my job at the hospital this week (after a two week hiatus to assist my family), and it was absolute chaos.The COVID-19 pandemic has everyone scared and confused. I am a nurse in the surgical department, and there has been much debate over the last week about cancelling all elective surgeries. Starting next week, all elective cases will be postponed for eight weeks. So on top of everything else, now the operating room staff is panicking about how they will pay their bills. Hospital-wide, visitor restrictions keep getting tighter and tighter. Patients’ worried family members are rude and hateful to us, the health care providers, who have been assigned to screen visitors at the doors. Never mind that we’re just as worried and uncertain. Never mind that our safety guidelines are literally changing by the hour. Never mind that we’re literally putting our lives at risk by just being in our place of work. You could cut the tension at the hospital with a knife.
We’ve also had a few days of severe weather since the March 3rd tornado. Greg and I bought an intense weather radio with all the bells and whistles. My google history includes a search for the best kinds of helmets to wear during storms. We want to install a $5,000 solid steel storm shelter in our garage. I’ve downloaded about seventeen different weather alert apps on my phone, and I sleep with my phone on loud every single night. Sleep is sacred in our household, but it hasn’t been coming easily. When I try to go to sleep at night I start imagining the terrors my sister, her family, and her neighbors must have experienced that night and I get scared. Restless, I toss and turn, which also keeps Greg awake. Not to mention, the constant weather alerts (even for things like fog) going off on my phone have been interrupting our sleep. But my peace of mind seems more important right now. The lack of sleep is starting to catch up with us though. We are irritable and fatigued. And now we’re trapped in the house together trying to self quarantine and stay safe from coronavirus. We have been supporting each other, but we want to commune with our family and friends. I’ve been feeling lonely and depressed as a result of the social distancing.
My niece, Harper, who sustained a brain injury during the tornado is truly making leaps and bounds in her recovery. I firmly believe that with a lot of hard work and therapy over the next several months, she’ll be back to the spunky, smart two year old she was before the storm. But, I’m just frustrated that she even had to have this setback. She is so bright and full of personality. Three weeks ago, she was on the road to developing into a wonderful human being. She’s still on that road, but this new obstacle in her path just seems so unnecessary. And when I start to dwell on these thoughts, I just get overcome with emotion. Like, right now as I’m sitting here weeping while typing.
The combination of all of these current life stresses has caused moments that feel not quite unbearable, but almost. And unfortunately, as a result, I’ve been overcome by this spirit of fear over the last few weeks.
 |
| "Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?" - Luke 12:27-28 |
I’ve always been afraid of being caught off guard, especially in the middle of the night. That’s why I can’t ever sleep when Greg’s not home. If he goes out of town, I usually try to tough it out alone for a few nights, but always end up sleeping at my parents’ house. For some reason, I have always had this thought that if something awful happens while Greg and I are together, it will be much better than if the same thing happens while I’m alone. I think that’s why the tornado hurts so much. I’m sad that my family experienced one of my worst fears.
I’ve also always been afraid of dying in some tragic, frightening, or painful way. My ideal way to go out is in my sleep, when I’m 95, and right by Greg’s side (obviously dying together). I’m a Christian, and I truly believe that I will be going to Heaven and spending eternity with the Godhead upon my death, but I still think it’s human nature to fear death a little bit and to long for a peaceful exit from this earth. So again, I’m devastated that many people in my home town, including my family’s neighbors and friends, lived out this fear of mine.
I babysat Harper one morning back before Christmas. We sat in the big chairs (bar stools) and had breakfast. She was eating this muffin (most of which landed in the floor to Luna’s delight), and I remember at that exact moment feeling suddenly overcome by how much I loved her and how I never wanted anything bad to ever happen to her. I wasn’t even thinking on as large a scale as a tornado or a brain injury. I just always wanted her to have friends and to never be made fun of and to never be cheated on and to never have anyone ever be mean to her. I wanted her to always be safe. To never be in a car wreck or get some horrible illness. I wanted her life to be picture perfect, just like her. Sadly though, I couldn’t and never will be able to keep bad things from happening to the people I love, and that stirs up fear in me as well.
The silver lining in all of this though, is that even though this spirit of fear is defeating me at times, I know that it’s not from God. The apostle Paul said that, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). The Bible tells me over and over again to be strong and courageous, to fear no evil, and to not waste time worrying. And why? Because, “nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:38-39
These verses remind me that there truly is nothing to fear. Whether I die tomorrow in some tragic way, or in 60 years after a long healthy life, I will be with Jesus and those who have gone on before me! Leah DiPascal with Proverbs 31 Ministries says it better:
“Regardless of how much suffering we’ll experience in our lifetime, one thing is for sure. A day will come when there will be no more sorrow or pain, no more heartache or tears, no more loss or suffering. Our joy will be made complete and we will come face to face with Jesus - the One and Only, who embraced the cross and bore the greatest undeserved suffering completely for us.”
“Regardless of how much suffering we’ll experience in our lifetime, one thing is for sure. A day will come when there will be no more sorrow or pain, no more heartache or tears, no more loss or suffering. Our joy will be made complete and we will come face to face with Jesus - the One and Only, who embraced the cross and bore the greatest undeserved suffering completely for us.”
Friends, I know the entire world is feeling some anxiety and tension right now. You may be experiencing more than others. My prayer is that God, who is with us in our sufferings, will cover you with His peace that surpasses all understanding. And I also pray that if you don’t know God yet that you find Him soon! A life with Him is a life of hope. Hope that even through the darkest days of this earthly life, there is literal light at the end of the tunnel. An eternal, light-filled life with Him.
Lots of love.
XOXO,
Abby
Post is really a nice and informative.
ReplyDeleteRegards :
welding boots reviews
Post is really a nice and informative.
ReplyDeleteRegards :
modular motorcycle helmets
Iqama is permit to live in the saudiaarabia which is also write as KSA. Mostly KSA ( Saudia Arabia ) offer 1 Year residency permit. The iqama expiry date will be after one year. Iqama fee is about 8000 saudi riyal. To guide the people about iqama status and check iqama expiry online mostly use this website.
ReplyDeleteA hair transplant is a procedure in which a plastic or dermatological surgeon moves hair to a bald area of the head. The surgeon usually moves hair from the back or side of the head to the front or top of the head. Hair transplants typically occur in a medical office under local anesthesia. Some people think hair transplant is very costly in usa. If you want to know hair transplant before and after cost in usa visit us.
ReplyDeleteReally, You face very fears and stressful conditions. Your quotes are really worthy and I learn a lot by read this article. Keep sharing. You can also visit here to see expats in Saudi Arabia.
ReplyDeleteMany people that enjoy placing football bets will bet all of their money on their favorite team to win. If this is your strategy คาสิโนออนไลน์, you will need to be aware of the many factors that can impact a game. One of the most important factors that determine the outcome of a game is the skill level of the team playing. A good team may not always win, even if it has the best players in the world.
ReplyDeleteQuotes are usually quite a bit lower for broken phones than they are for working ones, however, so be prepared for a slight drop in price. Handsets with big dents and scratches sell mobile phone, cracked screens, or dodgy buttons all count as broken - though each recycler tends to have slightly different criteria for what they will and won't accept.
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time, you would go online to find out what your favourite betting website is offering แทงบอลออนไลน์. Nowadays, the same thing has been made easier with the help of several sites that are on the internet offering you a wide variety of sporting events and the odds on which team or player you want to wager on. There is no need for you to go to a betting site yourself as these sites offer their services for free.
ReplyDeleteWe believe this helps make society better, but huge challenges remain. We must urgently move towards a future where public interest news and journalism is effectively funded by — and distributed for ทีเด็ดบอล วันนี้ the people it serves.We makes it easy for people to discover content from all types of publishers, including those who are smaller and independently owned.
ReplyDeleteBelow you'll find some free MPC expansions and kits which are all compatible with the MPC X, MPC Live (I & II), MPC One, Akai Force, MPC Software and MPC Beats. Simply add them to your cart and check out as normal; there's no charge and no payment needed. We often update these mpc sample packs with new content, so to receive an email whenever a pack is updated make sure you subscribe to our newsletter during check out.
ReplyDeleteDifferent sports betting systems can be used to predict the future results of a match. Many people will use a system that combines past performance with the current performance of each team. This makes it possible to figure out a trend or a pattern of past performances that can be used to predict the future performances of the team. There are many sports betting systems out there that have been proven successful for this purpose แทงบอล, but many people will choose to go this route if they feel that there are factors that are too complex to be explained by a simple average.
ReplyDeleteyou should check whether the website provides you with live chat facility which allows you to connect with your opponent easily through chat. Thirdly, you should select the website that provides an option to make deposits through your credit cards. After you confirm these things, then you can now select your desired online gambling website. you should also be careful about the reputation บาคาร่า มือถือ of the online gambling websites. To know if the website is trustworthy or not, you should check out its reliability and security policy. After this, you can now select your desired online gambling website to play your favorite games.
ReplyDeleteThe new buzz in town is verify a mobile number for tawakkalna. Saudi Arabians have now come to rely on Tawakkalna as one of their most important apps. Almost all Expats are aware of this app. As a result of large numbers of users, the tawakkalna App has experienced a technical issue.
ReplyDeleteNational Days play an important role in our life and society. Different days are celebrated worldwide. National Sons Day is one of the day that is celebrated for sons. The real message behind celebrating this day is to provide a safe and secure aura for the sons in which they should grow and live.
ReplyDeletecasinoclub7 Baccarat Deposit-withdraw, no minimum, no turn, bet starting from 10฿, withdraw as much as you want,แทงบอลออนไลน์ easy to play, get real money not as difficult as you think interested in casino online baccarat that can apply through the automatic system in just 3 seconds or allow employees to apply Apply for Baccarat today and receive a free Baccarat cheat formula immediately.
ReplyDeleteWe provide ultra-realistic and top quality 3D product rendering for consumer goods, industrial & mechanical equipment, medical devices, packaging, electronics and more 3d product modeling. These renderings can be used for your website, brochures, crowdfunding campaigns, social media, e-Commerce store images and other marketing & advertisement collateral.
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks for sharing it, you can also explore it sad lenny face
ReplyDeleteThroughout the history of Australia, ships and boats have played a huge role in the development of the nation. Home to millions of boats, classic and golden hind model ship , Australia is home to many marinas. These all help to showcase the rich history between life at sea and life on land that is such a fundamental part of Australia.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharign it, you can also download instagram theme for android
ReplyDeleteGetting to Platinum is already hard, how much more if a player is aiming for Challenger? Whether they're looking to up the ante on your ranked games or use to buy league of legends accounts to practice their skills on different lanes instead of usual, all of that is possible by getting an account here to instantly jump into the higher ranks or practice maining other roles like jungling.
ReplyDeleteThis completely free MPC expansion pack adds more sounds to your setup and is compatible with both the hardware and software. Grab it now! The two expansions, Deep House Drums and Official Trap Drums, span over 30 new programs of fresh mpc drum kits, loops, and demo tracks. These MPC expansion packs have been specially made for MPC software and hardware samplers.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for sharing. visit our website and read guide about remove bathtub without damaging tiles. Removing bathtub tile, especially one made of cast iron bathtubs, can be a dirty job.
ReplyDeleteKeep sharing for more details about it, you can also check out best welding helmet for more details.
ReplyDeleteWeighted blankets, also termed anxiety blankets or gravity blanket for anxiety, have been used by hospitals and therapeutic programs for a long time and have recently become mainstream. visit site and read full guide about how weighted blankets help
ReplyDeleteWe ensure our clients are supported through this process by best website design that utilize the latest website technology. In a world with multiple devices, your business needs a web presence that has a fluid user experience while converting website traffic into new clients. This is achieved by listening to your website requirements and taking on each website project as a singular challenge.
ReplyDeleteDifferent sports บาคาร่า systems can be used to predict the future results of a match. Many people will use a system that combines past performance with the current performance of each team. This makes it possible to figure out a trend or a pattern of past performances that can be used to predict the future performances of the team. There are many sports betting systems out there that have been proven successful for this purpose, but many people will choose to go this route if they feel that there are factors that are too complex to be explained by a simple average.
ReplyDeleteYour friends have suggested printers that can fax and copy, and could also be wirelessly connected. That would be awesome and you want that. But aren’t all-in-one printers too expensive?Over the years, countless pundits, this author among them, have predicted that, sooner rather than later, most of the world’s workforce would be working from home. The dream? Fewer giant office blocks, less drain on fossil fuels, good-bye to nasty traffic snarls. And remote work would no longer be exclusive to just a select few professionals read more this article.
ReplyDeleteCBD oil can also help reduce the development of sebaceous cysts and blackheads and minimize their appearance when they do occur. Full spectrum CBD oil This is because CBD has been shown to regulate the production of sebum in the skin, which is responsible for acne breakouts and its anti-inflammatory properties help with inflamed existing acne lesions. Cannabidiol, or CBD, is a chemical compound in marijuana with a variety of uses.
ReplyDeleteOur top computer science homework help ensures that you get help in a little by little manner. We try to offer online programming assignment help that each component of our computer science homework solutions is simple to understand the concept really. it's going to make certain that you carry out better with solutions that you may defend in any panel. All the students who have used our pinnacle-notch help with laptop science homework can testify that every answer comes with special explanations https://tutlance.com/homework-help-answers/marketing.
ReplyDeleteOutdoor Lounge Set furniture is versatile and can be used year-round for al fresco dining, entertaining guests, or reading a book in a hammock. Find patio furniture for including patio umbrellas, porch swings, patio sets, hammocks, outdoor cushions, outdoor bars, and conversation sets.Start entertaining today with weather-resistant dining sets, tables, and chaise lounges.
ReplyDeleteDifferent sports betting systems can be used to predict the future results of a match. Many people will use a system that combines past performance with the current performance of each team. This makes it possible to figure out a trend or a pattern of past performances that can be used to predict the future performances of the team แทงบอลออนไลน์. There are many sports betting systems out there that have been proven successful for this purpose, but many people will choose to go this route if they feel that there are factors that are too complex to be explained by a simple average.
ReplyDeleteIt requires a group of experts to bring your project's renovation and extension to reality. Our expert team of builders, tradesmen and staff, as well as suppliers and partners join. We'll help you develop a plans that meet your requirements and manage every aspect of plans, permits and luxurious additions needed to renovate and expand your property. This is backed up by our process-oriented processes and management methods that are driven by details and communication.at yourforeverhomensw we put you at the heart of everything that we do.
ReplyDeleteMy niece, Harper, who sustained a brain injury during the tornado is truly making leaps and bounds in her recovery. I firmly believe that with a lot of hard work and therapy over the next several months, she’ll be back to the spunky, smart two year old she was before the storm. But, I’m just frustrated that she even had to have this setback. She is so bright and full of personality. Three weeks ago, she was on the road to developing into a wonderful human being. She’s still on that road, but this new obstacle in her path just seems so unnecessary. And when I start to dwell on these thoughts, I just get overcome with emotion. Like, right now as I’m sitting here weeping while typing.
ReplyDeleteking size quilts amazon ,
sherpa king comforter ,
completeroofingsolutions a commercial and industrial roofing contractor. We understand the challenges and complexities of installing commercial roofing installations on your building. While ensuring minimal impact on your daily operations, adhering to the highest safety standards in the industry, and providing superior workmanship, completeroofingsolutions is your roofer of choice for commercial roof replacement, roof repairs, and restoration.
ReplyDeleteThe vendors would trust the factoring company top financial consulting companies when it said that the buyer was creditworthy. They charged a small fee for offering advice about credit and then became merchants in the trade industry by purchasing and then reselling a variety of goods.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the weather can play a greater role in a game, however, than the other factors listed above. For example, if a team that is expected to have a very good season is without a doubt having the best player in the NFL at the time, then this may cause the home team to fall behind early and then lose.The level of support that the team has in the community, as well as the team itself, may also affect the game. A การแทงบอล that has the most fans, the largest stadium, and sponsors in the area may be favored in a match that is played in a less populated area.
ReplyDeleteGet Live Cricket Score of all matches for all teams 2022 For all key tournaments 2022 like IPL, ICC World Cup, CPL, BBL, WBBL and others. Visit us at https://cricsguru.in/.
ReplyDeleteThe current COVID-19 health crisis has increased the speed with which companies implement digital technologies within their organization. Playing a paramount role in signing contracts and documents remotely, electronic signature has become vital for companies to carry on their processes.so we introduced a docusign alternative here visit us for more details.
ReplyDeleteThe level of support that the team has in the community, as well as the team itself, may also affect the game. A team that has the most fans, the largest stadium, and sponsors in the area may be favored in a match that is played in a less populated area.Visit us at บาคาร่า.
ReplyDelete