5 Things
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5 Things
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5 Ways to Avoid "Stuff-Envy"
I recently came across the phrase "stuff-envy" in a First5 app devotional on Ecclesiastes 6. In the lesson titled Roving Appetite Recovery, Wendy Pope discussed how, "even as an adult [she] struggled with an appetite for what others had." She reminded readers that, "obsessing over things we desire robs us of the joy of God's blessings."
If you've been a follower of mine for a while, you know that the concept of"stuff-envy" is something with which I've really struggled. I've considered shutting down Abbylish on multiple occasions mostly due to the moral quandary of promoting materialism when it's something that can so consume my own life.
While it seems so obvious and easy to just find satisfaction in God rather than things, it's not always so simple to make that mind shift. So today, I'm sharing five practical ways to avoid "stuff-envy" and to help correct a "roving appetite" from the inside out. These are just some of the applications that I've put into place in my own life over the past few years that I've found to be successful and beneficial.
1. Get off social media
This is obviously hard for me to recommend because I don't want to lose my online friends and followers. But, I know first hand how cleansing an extended break from social media can be.
It's amazing how much you stop caring about what everybody else is doing when you just don't see it 24/7. You can't have FOMO if you don't even know it's happening in the first place! I encourage you to take a social media hiatus every so often, whether for a week, a month, or even longer and see how it makes you feel. I guarantee you won't regret scrolling the internet less.
2. Do NOT create more storage
Another reason we can't have kids any time soon is that I'm using every square inch of storage space in our home (including both spare bedrooms and closets) for my own crap. Greg and I have talked about opening up access to our attic, but honestly, our current lack of storage space deters me from buying a ton of things I don't need. Sometimes more space = more things to fill it.
Do I want a Christmas tree in every room of the house, each with their own holly jolly theme? Of course! But I don't have the room to store them, and so I'm forced to recognize the fact that said Christmas trees aren't a need and that I can even *happily* live without them.
3. Two Week Rule
My mom once told me that if you didn't wear something within two weeks of purchasing it, return it. Not sure where she first heard that advice, but it's some of the truest in my life. If you're not dying to wear it the next day after buying it, you will most likely lose interest. That's why I have a love/hate relationship with events like the Nordstrom Sale. You get yourself all hyped up for overpriced sweaters and boots in JULY, months before you can even wear them!
Basically, the Two Week Rule helps you decipher if the stuff you're envying will actually serve you in some way. It helped me realize that I don't need to buy any business-type clothes. I can appreciate a structured blazer or a pencil skirt, but I know that I'm rarely ever going to find myself in a time or place where I will need those pieces. So, while I may be tempted to buy them, when I really stop and think about it, I know I don't need them. Same with "church dresses." I grew up attending a more traditional "Sunday best" church where I wore pretty dresses every single week. Now, Greg and I attend a gathering with a more casual vibe, so the formal dresses just aren't really a necessity in my closet anymore. I'm still so attracted to pretty frocks, but I have now realized that my money is better spent elsewhere.
4. Refresh > Hoarding
Another rule I've adopted in life is: if you do get something new, get rid of something old. Channel your inner Marie Kondo and occasionally declutter areas of your home. As hokey as it sounds, I love her idea of "thanking" the items for serving you when they did and sending them on to a new life! Try not to feel like you're losing something by donating or selling old items. Consider the fact they're going to get much more use from a new owner than they will by sitting in storage at your house.
5. PRAY!!
I guess I should have listed this as number one, because it really should be your first line of defense. Pray for God to fill your heart with love for Him instead of things. Ask Him for wisdom and strength to overcome the struggle of "stuff-envy." And thank Him for the many blessings in your life. I've often found that when you stop and focus on all of the things, experiences, and relationships God has already blessed you with, those things that you seemingly don't have start to lose their importance.
If you struggle with "stuff-envy"like I do, I hope these suggestions are helpful. Please know that I don't believe consumerism, shopping, or even materialism to be inherently evil things. However, when not kept in check in my own life, they can grow into sinful idols that rob me of the abundant life that Jesus came to give me.
Let me know if you have any other suggestions to keeping "stuff-envy" at bay. Prayers for all of you who may be working on this with me!
XOXO,
Abby
5 Things
Faith
Lifestyle
Relationships
Wedding
To end, I thought it would be fun to share a few anniversary gift ideas. I'm a sucker for the traditional yearly anniversary gifts. If you didn't know that was a thing, give it a Google! It's so fun to see all of the old traditions and the new modern versions of gifts that people have come up with as well. Keep scrolling to get a few ideas (just for years 1-5...I don't have all day, people!). Even if you've been married longer than five years, or not at all, maybe you'll still get a few fresh gift ideas.
1st Anniversary: Paper
Think personalized stationary, a new bible, or a custom couples portrait!
2nd Anniversary: Cotton
Greg literally bought me a single stick of decorative faux cotton for our second anniversary. 😂
3rd Anniversary: Leather
To all the men out there, Louis Vuitton makes excellent leather products. Just sayin'!
4th Anniversary: Fruit/Flowers
Honestly, the best thing you can do here is get an Edible Arrangement.
5th Anniversary: Wood
You can just use your imagination to guess what crude comment Greg made about a "wood" gift. 😳
Anniversary Insights - 5 Things We've Learned in 5 years
Y'all know I can't resist sharing a list with you guys, especially if the list contains five things (more of said lists here, here, and here). The number 5 has always been my lucky number, so it only makes sense that I should share another "5 Things" post on my fifth wedding anniversary! And buckle up because this is actually a list full of lists! I am who I am.
This has, by far, been the strangest, year of marriage Greg and I have experienced (lest we forget the tornado, quarantine, and subsequent brief period of unemployment). But maybe since it's our fifth anniversary, that's a good omen?? Hope so!
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| July 11, 2015 |
Therefore, in honor of our fifth wedding anniversary, I consulted with Greg, and we decided to share five things we've learned over the last five years together. I've considered doing wedding/marriage themed posts on our anniversary in years past, but I've always ended up deciding against it. Mostly because I don't feel like I'm a credible source for advice. 😂 And specifically regarding wedding advice, my hesitancy towards sharing my thoughts is three fold:
1. With the current events going on in the world, many couples are postponing or cancelling weddings, and unfortunately, I don't' have any experience with that.
2. Most of my followers are not currently in the bride season of life.
3. Other than my choice of groom, I found my own wedding to be, at best, underwhelming, and at worst...disappointing.
I can give you a laundry list of what I would have done differently, but that’s a story for another day. Plus, it's not the most cheery of content, now is it?
Honestly, when asked (which thankfully isn't often), the advice I give to young couples regarding weddings is this:
Save your money and ELOPE. Plan a celebratory party later.
or
Spare no expense and have the wedding of your dreams.
There is no in between.
Personally, I was so concerned with budget and worried about being viewed as a bridezilla that I felt like I cut corners and compromised on so many things. And yet now, 5 years later, I can’t even remember most of that day. Riddle me that. So all of my stressing really wasn't even worth it.
Regardless of how I perceive my own wedding day, I snagged a hottie husband out of it, so I’d still call it a win.
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| We had our programs printed on fans because it was the hottest day of the century. |
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| Donuts from Ralph's instead of wedding cake! |
SO! Moving onto the good stuff.
5 Things We've Learned in 5 Years of Marriage
1. Communication is Key
I know that this point (maybe in this exact wording) can be found in almost every book or article touting relationship advice. But that's just because it's so true! In fact, pretty much every point I list after this somehow relates back to good communication.
One of the most important things I've learned regarding communication is that, as much as you want them to, men. cannot. read. minds. 🤪 If you want your husband to do something or know something, you have to tell them. Sure, Greg has surprised me a few times and done something like clean the house while I'm stuck at work or plan a weekend getaway. But ultimately, you must communicate things that you want him to know.
Also, after being disappointed a few too many times (due to my lack of communication), I've started planning things myself. If I want to do something for my birthday, I organize it. If I want dinner reservations for Valentine's Day, I make the phone call. Though I do think that Greg could stand to read between the lines a little bit more, I have to remind myself that it's not fair to hold him to standards that he never even knew existed.
There's a phrase I've heard somewhere before that says something like, "expectation without communication leads to disappointment." This is something I'm still working on daily, but if you create a home that is a safe space to talk to each other about anything, you can freely communicate your expectations with one another and hopefully avoid disappointment and frustration!
2. Determine the Vacation Planner
Growing up, my dad was always the vacation planner in our family. I think he literally enjoys the logistics of planning trips. Maybe more so than the actual trip! I always assumed it was a "man thing." However, Greg always experienced trip planning as a "woman thing" seeing as his mom usually booked all of their family vacays. Unfortunately, we didn't figure out this little discrepancy until a few years into our marriage. After a a couple of trips where we stayed in absolute DUMPS and Greg stressed about every detail, I realized that he truly hated organizing and planning. I offered to take over planning our getaways in the future, and his response was something along the lines of, "thank goodness, I thought you'd never ask."
While this may be a silly example, the main point is to consider loosely defining some "roles" in your marriage. Know your own weaknesses and allow your spouse to take over when necessary and vice versa. It all goes back to the first point. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
3. Pray to be a better spouse.
Ask God to equip you with the tools and knowledge to better understand, appreciate, and respect your spouse. If you BOTH consistently pray for this, you’ll be on the right track.
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| A Helpful Diagram |
4. Remember the Past
Some of the things that annoy me the most about Greg are some of the qualities that initially attracted me to him: his steadfastness, predictability, responsibility, attention to detail, and sense of security. I try to really remember how appealing these attributes were (and still are) to me whenever they frustrate me.
5. Go On Dates
This is another one of those obvious tips that you hear over and over again. But, again, that's because it's true! Greg and I try to have some form of a date night at least once a week (granted, it's been slim pickings recently thanks to the 'rona). It doesn't have to be anything super formal, but there's still something fun and special about looking nice and going out like you did when you were first dating. Even better, leave your phones in the car. That way you can truly converse, or dare I say, communicate??
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| We had a small wedding party with just our siblings and cousins. |
Now, I'm not pretending to be an expert on marriage. With just five years under our belts, Greg and I have a lot left to learn. But, these are the biggest nuggets of wisdom I've gleaned in the last five years. Whether you're engaged, newly married, or have spent a lifetime with your spouse, I hope a point or two from this list will resonate with you and inspire some new growth in your relationship.
To end, I thought it would be fun to share a few anniversary gift ideas. I'm a sucker for the traditional yearly anniversary gifts. If you didn't know that was a thing, give it a Google! It's so fun to see all of the old traditions and the new modern versions of gifts that people have come up with as well. Keep scrolling to get a few ideas (just for years 1-5...I don't have all day, people!). Even if you've been married longer than five years, or not at all, maybe you'll still get a few fresh gift ideas.
1st Anniversary: Paper
Think personalized stationary, a new bible, or a custom couples portrait!
2nd Anniversary: Cotton
Greg literally bought me a single stick of decorative faux cotton for our second anniversary. 😂
3rd Anniversary: Leather
To all the men out there, Louis Vuitton makes excellent leather products. Just sayin'!
4th Anniversary: Fruit/Flowers
Honestly, the best thing you can do here is get an Edible Arrangement.
5th Anniversary: Wood
You can just use your imagination to guess what crude comment Greg made about a "wood" gift. 😳
What are some of the most important things you've learned in your relationships? Do you give traditional anniversary gifts or come up with your own? Maybe you opt for no gifts at all?? Let me know!
Wishing you all the best, forever and always!
XOXO,
Abby
*all photos by Zach and Sarah
*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.
However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*
5 Things
Faith
Featured
Lifestyle
Do you share any of my struggles? Are there other things burdening your heart? Feel free to share them in the comments section below. But if you choose not to, know that I'm praying for you and for all the tough things you might be enduring, and I ask that you do the same for me.
Love you all!
XOXO,
Abby
5 Things I'm Struggling With
Ok I really didn't intend for this post to be yet another glorified list. And especially a list containing five items. However, this morning I finally made time to sit down and read a few chapters of a book I've been reading for months now.
(I used to read all the time and would make fun of my mom for how long it took her to read one book, usually about a year...now I get it). This book, Meeting God in Holy Places, was given to me by my Dad after he and Mom traveled to Israel. It is enlightening, inspiring, and always leaves me with something to think about.
I also keep a prayer journal, which I'm sad to admit I only write in about once every couple months. This morning, instead of writing down a traditional prayer, I just kind of wanted to write down all of the things that are currently troubling my heart. To get them on paper so I could really examine them. Ironically enough, it came out to five, which is my favorite number.
So because I've shared a few other "5 Things" posts (here and here) with you all before, I wanted to share these not-so-fun 5 things with you as well. I want to share them as a reminder that life isn't always rainbows and roses despite what you see on social media. And, I also want to share them in hopes that if you're going through something similar, you can know that you're not alone and that it's perfectly normal (did I just suggest that I'm perfectly normal lololol??) to have seasons of confusion and stress. Can a whole decade be considered a season?? #askingforafriend 😂
1. Frustration, judgement, and lack of support for people who I consider to be making poor choices
A flaw that I've noticed about myself particularly in adulthood is my judgment of others. On a spiritual level, I know that we are all sinners. And just because my sins have never disgraced me publicly, landed me in jail, or really negatively affected my life, they are still sins. We are all created in God's image, and I am no better than anyone else.
However, on an earthy level, I struggle with being judgmental towards those who sin differently than me. Towards people who are lazy, mooch off of others, apathetic, constantly negative and who fall into the same temptations or make the same mistakes over and over, I find myself thinking, "how hard is it to get it together??" I don't understand how anyone could settle for living a sub par (in my eyes) life and not want to strive and work for something better. I find myself feeling that people like that aren't even worth my time, and I avoid being around them.
But while we are all created in God's image, we aren't created to be the same. Sure the world would be a better place if everyone was just like me 😉, but that's not what God intended. We are each unique and have unique struggles. And no matter what those struggles are, God gives us his amazing and unending grace. I am not saved by good works, righteous living, or all the hustle I can muster but rather by my faith and God's good grace which I do not deserve.
So why can't I extend the same unending grace to others as Christ extends to me?
2. Focusing too much on my earthly life and consciously choosing things of this world over time with God.
I am way too focused on my life here on earth as opposed to my eternal life. I can step back and examine my everyday life and actions and can clearly see myself choosing other things (laundry, watching TV, Instagramming) over studying God's word or praying. I'm constantly putting my spiritual life on the back burner to focus on my earthly life, and I'm not really sure why. Lack of discipline, I guess. I know which one is more important, yet that's not the one I focus on.
3. Confining my life and ministry to inside my comfort zone
This one sort of ties into numbers one and two. Because of my tendency to judge others unfairly and to allow their actions that I don't agree with to bother me, and because I'm more focused on what I'm doing here on this earth rather than looking towards my eternal life and striving to further God's kingdom, I find myself only shining God's light to people who are already like me. To people who live like me, worship like me, and have similar struggles as me. I surround myself with people who already know God instead of seeking out those who don't. And when I do come in contact with those who don't know Christ, I don't feel like I really do anything that displays Christ to them, but rather I just blend in until I can get back to my comfort zone.
4. Feeling left out or left behind by all of my friends and family entering motherhood
Around this time last year, I wrote a blog post listing (imagine that) several reasons why I wasn't ready to have kids. One year later, I'm still not interested in procreating. However, also one year later, it seems like all of my friends and family members (not to mention every single person I follow on social media) is pregnant. They're entering this exciting time of literal expectation and they are being showered with joy and affection by everyone around them. They're in a season of change, hopefulness, and anticipation, and I envy them. I'm jealous of these "next chapters" my friends are walking into, but I'm not interested in having kids. I feel like I'm being left out or left behind, but I don't actually want what they have. I don't want a baby, but I'd love to experience a "next chapter." But, I've already gone to college, landed a stable job, married, moved, bought a house, adopted a dog, started a blogging hobby...now what?
What's next for me?
I also get a little sad knowing that my friendships with these women entering motherhood will be...not lost, but forever changed. Friendships shift with any life change, (going to college, moving away, getting married, etc.) and while the changing of life's seasons can be exhilarating, they've always left me feeling a bit nostalgic.
5. Uncertainty about becoming a mother myself
As of right now, there is nothing compelling me to have children other than the fear of who will take care of me and Greg when we're old. And that's not a reason to bring a child into the world. If I literally make a pros and cons list (I have), my single pro for childbearing would be having someone there in 60 years to put me in the nicest retirement home. And the cons list is so long I've lost count. Just from a logical perspective, that doesn't balance out so well.
I pray about it, but I'm not really sure what to pray for. Clarity, I guess. Discernment. Accidentally getting knocked up so the decision is made for me. I don't really know who to talk to about it either. My closest confidants either have kids or want to have them, so I feel like I just don't relate. And, I worry I might offend them if tell them all the reasons why I don't want to be a parent. I end up confiding in the few child free friends I have at work and mostly lamenting to Greg at least once a minute day about it. He says he is happy with whatever decision I make. He's not chomping at the bit to be a dad either, so he doesn't understand why I fret over it so much. BUT LIKE THERE'S LITERALLY A TIME LIMIT. And while everyone around me seems to be popping out kids left and right, I think the battery in my biological clock might be dead.
But there's still that lingering "what if" and the fear of regret. If I was 1000% certain that I wanted to remain childfree, I'd schedule a tubal tomorrow. But for some reason, I'm not closing the door completely. Maybe because I'm only 27. I definitely have some more time to decide. I think I'm just feeling pressure because it seems like everyone I know is doing it. Like for real, I'm going to start keeping a tally of how many days in a row I see a pregnancy announcement on Facebook.
I realize that this post is a bit of downer. A rundown of all of my flaws and struggles isn't the most inspirational of content. Especially since I don't have any solutions yet. They're just kind of there... annoying me.
But one thing I know for certain is that while life isn't perfect and I'm not perfect, I serve a God who is. He is faithful, and "he knows the plans he has for me. Plans for good and not for disaster, to give me a future and a hope." So, if He's got me in his hands, there's no need for me to worry or stress about my future or the places where I feel like I don't measure up.
Instead, The best thing for me to do during my time on this earth is to start each day fresh seeking God, displaying his love to others, and continually striving to reflect the gospel. I believe that if I focus on those things, the rest will all fall into place.
.
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." - Phillippians 4:6-7
But there's still that lingering "what if" and the fear of regret. If I was 1000% certain that I wanted to remain childfree, I'd schedule a tubal tomorrow. But for some reason, I'm not closing the door completely. Maybe because I'm only 27. I definitely have some more time to decide. I think I'm just feeling pressure because it seems like everyone I know is doing it. Like for real, I'm going to start keeping a tally of how many days in a row I see a pregnancy announcement on Facebook.
I realize that this post is a bit of downer. A rundown of all of my flaws and struggles isn't the most inspirational of content. Especially since I don't have any solutions yet. They're just kind of there... annoying me.
But one thing I know for certain is that while life isn't perfect and I'm not perfect, I serve a God who is. He is faithful, and "he knows the plans he has for me. Plans for good and not for disaster, to give me a future and a hope." So, if He's got me in his hands, there's no need for me to worry or stress about my future or the places where I feel like I don't measure up.
Instead, The best thing for me to do during my time on this earth is to start each day fresh seeking God, displaying his love to others, and continually striving to reflect the gospel. I believe that if I focus on those things, the rest will all fall into place.
.
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." - Phillippians 4:6-7
Do you share any of my struggles? Are there other things burdening your heart? Feel free to share them in the comments section below. But if you choose not to, know that I'm praying for you and for all the tough things you might be enduring, and I ask that you do the same for me.
Love you all!
XOXO,
Abby
5 Things
Fashion
Featured
Lifestyle
My evolution of purse carrying is a bit strange. In high school, it wasn't cool to carry backpacks, so I carried ginormous purses that contained my whole life. Flash forward to college where EVERYBODY carried a backpack. I traded in my oversized purses for a Northface backpack (like I was using it for all my hiking trips on the weekends) and a small wallet on my key ring to hold my Student I.D., chapstick, and the few dollar bills I had to my name.
Can't Live Without These 5 Things
Has anybody else noticed that a lot of my blog posts seem to be in list form? And in multiples of 5?? 😂 What can I say...I'm a creature of habit, and 5 has always been my lucky number.
Regardless, the following 5 items are truly things that I use on the reg. I couldn't narrow it down to 4, and I absolutely couldn't think of a 6th one. So, without further ado, the 5 things I can't live without are:
1. Steamer
My sister bought me a mini steamer for Christmas, and my life has never been better. I H.A.T.E. ironing. Like why is that even a thing? It's embarrassing, but when I iron, I usually end up with some sort of burn injury and a still wrinkled garment at the end of it all.
This little steamer is a game changer! It heats up quickly and truly gets the wrinkles out of things right before your eyes. It's perfect for traveling too. Oh, and it's cheap. Score!
Soooooo I'm clearly on my phone a lot. Between "The Gram," taking photos, editing photos, and *ahem* online shopping, ya girl can run down an iPhone battery FAST. This little portable charger, or rather external battery, has saved my butt on so many occasions. It takes a while to actually charge up the battery, but once it's charged, it will last you several days! Best money I've spent in a while.
My cousin taught my how to curl my hair in college, and my life was changed. How many times have I rocked 3rd day curls with half a can of dry shampoo in my hair? The limit does not exist.
My mom bought me a Chi curling iron from TJ Maxx several years ago, and I still use it to this day. Not sure if mine is still on the market, but it rocks, and I'm sure the rest of their products are just as high quality.
I also know that Hot Tools is a great brand to try as well.
I'm sort of new to the self tanner game. I've always loved being tan, and in years past, I've definitely spent too much time in the sun trying to achieve the perfect glow. In an effort to take better care of my skin and still look fierce, I've jumped on the fake bake band wagon this year, and I ain't getting off anytime soon!
Unfortunately, I have a history of sensitive skin. Throughout my life, the weirdest things have set my skin off (yet, I could roll around in a bed of Poison Ivy and nothing would happen...now tell me how that makes sense), and sadly, I've had some bad luck with certain self tanners.
I'm still trying out different brands, but so far this Skinerals Self Tanner has been working for both my skin and my budget. I use these mitts to apply the tanner, and I use these glow pads on my face!
My evolution of purse carrying is a bit strange. In high school, it wasn't cool to carry backpacks, so I carried ginormous purses that contained my whole life. Flash forward to college where EVERYBODY carried a backpack. I traded in my oversized purses for a Northface backpack (like I was using it for all my hiking trips on the weekends) and a small wallet on my key ring to hold my Student I.D., chapstick, and the few dollar bills I had to my name.
Ever since then, I've always kind of enjoyed having some sort of a wristlet option, so that I could carry all my essentials with me relatively easily on the days when I'm not wanting to carry a purse.
This Target wristlet has been my jam over the last few years. Now that I have all this adult crap a few more things to tote around on a daily basis, this wallet is a lifesaver. It has lots of organization and room for everything (including the Dr. Pepper chapstick that I'll never outgrow). The pattern I have is a few years old and no longer available, but they keep coming out with new patterns in the same style each season. And, best of all: it's under $20!
Do you have some everyday essentials that you just can't live without?
Let me know in the comments!
XOXO,
Abby
shop the post
Do you have some everyday essentials that you just can't live without?
Let me know in the comments!
XOXO,
Abby
shop the post
*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.
However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*
5 Things
Featured
Lifestyle
I remember being a kid and thinking that I couldn't wait to be a grown up. There were so many things that I'd be able to DO once I was an adult! While that's definitely true in some aspects, I find myself in my young adulthood now actually looking for things to give up doing. Funny how life works isn't it?
So if you are feeling frustrated or stuck in a rut, like you're spinning your wheels but not actually accomplishing anything, read on. You might find these five things that I've stopped doing are things you want to stop doing too! And if not, I hope that this post is just food for thought on how we can all simplify and bring peace to our lives.
5 Things I've Stopped Doing:
1. Making lists
Ok, seeing as this post is one big, glorified list, I obviously haven't given this up completely. I'm a pretty organized person, and I love a good list to keep me on task when I really need to get stuff done. It's very gratifying to scratch each item off of a to-do list, but that's honestly the reason why I quit making them.
Along with feeling like my lists were never getting completed, there came a point about 6 months ago when I was feeling like I spent every single one of my off days cleaning the house. I would try to get a lot done myself on those 2 days so that Greg and I wouldn't have to do it on the weekends, but then I found myself resenting Greg for all the household tasks that he seemingly wasn't doing. I still don't think the man has ever scrubbed a bathtub...but I digress.
The idea that just because I had 2 days off each week, I should spend them doing housewife stuff, really irritated me. Because even though I do get those days off, I still work a full time job (when I actually stay all day 😂), and I didn't think "keeping house" should solely be my responsibility.
My thought was, "if we're both working, then we split the housework." And since that really wasn't happening (not because Greg refused to do it. He is very helpful around the house...when asked), I hired someone.
And she is an angel.
Starting around last October, Dawn comes once a month and basically does all the things I hate doing: dusting, cleaning the bathrooms, mopping the floors, plus a few other things. To me, her fee is a small price to pay. Since she's been coming, I feel significantly less stressed on my off days. I still spot clean here and there (I don't like to live in our own filth, for crying out loud), but I enjoy my off days more now knowing that she will be coming at the end of the month to tackle some of the more time consuming projects.
And, most importantly, Greg and I don't argue anymore about housework. And for that right there, I'd pay Dawn double!
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*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.
5 Things I've Stopped Doing
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| Romper / Hat / Earrings / Similar Necklace / Jacket / Similar Purse |
I remember being a kid and thinking that I couldn't wait to be a grown up. There were so many things that I'd be able to DO once I was an adult! While that's definitely true in some aspects, I find myself in my young adulthood now actually looking for things to give up doing. Funny how life works isn't it?
So if you are feeling frustrated or stuck in a rut, like you're spinning your wheels but not actually accomplishing anything, read on. You might find these five things that I've stopped doing are things you want to stop doing too! And if not, I hope that this post is just food for thought on how we can all simplify and bring peace to our lives.
5 Things I've Stopped Doing:
1. Making lists
Ok, seeing as this post is one big, glorified list, I obviously haven't given this up completely. I'm a pretty organized person, and I love a good list to keep me on task when I really need to get stuff done. It's very gratifying to scratch each item off of a to-do list, but that's honestly the reason why I quit making them.
Let me explain. After settling into the post-college work force and getting in the swing of 12 hour shifts, I started making to-do lists for each day that I was off of work (even weekends). I pretty much chalked the days I spent at the hospital up as a loss because really all I do on those days (if I don't get off early) is work, shower, eat, and sleep.
The off day to-do lists were helpful in reminding me of certain events like appointments I may have had, but eventually, each day turned into this overwhelming set of tasks (unload the dishwasher, do laundry, water the plants, walk the dogs, workout, go to the grocery store, vacuum, meal prep, etc.). Inevitably, I would never complete the whole list. I wouldn't get that feeling of gratification that comes with checking everything off, and instead, I would end up feeling frustrated and stressed. It always seemed like there just weren't enough hours in the day!
So, randomly one day, I just didn't make a list. I thought to myself, "I'll get done today what I have time to get done." And I've never really gone back.
2. Baking in the sun
I know I've touched on this several times, so if you're a faithful reader of my blog posts, sorry to bore you. As I've said before, I am a sun goddess. There's just something so peaceful about laying in the sun and reading a good book. I love having a nice tan as much as the next girl, and honestly, I just like the feeling being in the sun gives me.
However, I've noticed in the past two years alone that my skin has changed a lot. I simply don't have my 18 year old skin anymore. I've noticed wrinkles and damage to my skin already. Rather than continue down that path and risk looking like a crinkled up piece of leather when I'm 60 (and/or getting skin cancer), I've started limiting my time in the sun. I still love pool days/lake days/beach days, but I try to be really diligent in applying sunscreen, and shading my face especially.
3. Cleaning my house
Along with feeling like my lists were never getting completed, there came a point about 6 months ago when I was feeling like I spent every single one of my off days cleaning the house. I would try to get a lot done myself on those 2 days so that Greg and I wouldn't have to do it on the weekends, but then I found myself resenting Greg for all the household tasks that he seemingly wasn't doing. I still don't think the man has ever scrubbed a bathtub...but I digress.
The idea that just because I had 2 days off each week, I should spend them doing housewife stuff, really irritated me. Because even though I do get those days off, I still work a full time job (when I actually stay all day 😂), and I didn't think "keeping house" should solely be my responsibility.
My thought was, "if we're both working, then we split the housework." And since that really wasn't happening (not because Greg refused to do it. He is very helpful around the house...when asked), I hired someone.
And she is an angel.
Starting around last October, Dawn comes once a month and basically does all the things I hate doing: dusting, cleaning the bathrooms, mopping the floors, plus a few other things. To me, her fee is a small price to pay. Since she's been coming, I feel significantly less stressed on my off days. I still spot clean here and there (I don't like to live in our own filth, for crying out loud), but I enjoy my off days more now knowing that she will be coming at the end of the month to tackle some of the more time consuming projects.
And, most importantly, Greg and I don't argue anymore about housework. And for that right there, I'd pay Dawn double!
4. Strenuous Workouts
I've always lived a relatively active lifestyle. For much of my young adult life, I was a runner, and I've always enjoyed group fitness classes of all kinds. When Greg and I lived in Nashville, I started going to the same CrossFit gym that he was going to. I enjoyed working out at the same place he did and making "gym friends" together. I also really enjoyed the concept of CrossFit. I liked the fact that the workouts were short but very efficient.
Seemingly out of the blue, I started having some issues with my SI joints (sacroiliac joints, where your hips meet your low back), and unfortunately, CrossFit (and the culture of "just add a few more pounds to your bar") did not help.
When we moved back home in 2016, I started going to a CrossFit gym here. I practically shaved down my shin bone when I tripped doing a box jump, I was constantly ripping my hands open while trying to do pull ups, and I finally OBLITERATED my right SI joint attempting some heavy squats. I was diagnosed with a sprain, but I could hardly walk.
I found myself thinking, "Why on Earth am I doing this to my body?? This is not fun."
After months of recovery, I'm finally at a place again where I can do most of the workouts I love with little to no pain. I saw a physical therapist for a long time, I still have all sorts of issues with my SI joints/tailbone.
So, all of that to say that super strenuous workouts, especially ones where you're swinging really heavy weights around, simply are not worth it to me. They just don't seem to work for my body (or for many women's bodies if I'm being honest). I like staying fit, healthy, and active, but I'll take an aerobics class with my 8 pound dumbbells over an aggressive workout any day.
I want my workouts to be challenging, but most importantly, I want them to be enjoyable.
If it ain't fun, I ain't doin' it.
I've always lived a relatively active lifestyle. For much of my young adult life, I was a runner, and I've always enjoyed group fitness classes of all kinds. When Greg and I lived in Nashville, I started going to the same CrossFit gym that he was going to. I enjoyed working out at the same place he did and making "gym friends" together. I also really enjoyed the concept of CrossFit. I liked the fact that the workouts were short but very efficient.
Seemingly out of the blue, I started having some issues with my SI joints (sacroiliac joints, where your hips meet your low back), and unfortunately, CrossFit (and the culture of "just add a few more pounds to your bar") did not help.
When we moved back home in 2016, I started going to a CrossFit gym here. I practically shaved down my shin bone when I tripped doing a box jump, I was constantly ripping my hands open while trying to do pull ups, and I finally OBLITERATED my right SI joint attempting some heavy squats. I was diagnosed with a sprain, but I could hardly walk.
I found myself thinking, "Why on Earth am I doing this to my body?? This is not fun."
After months of recovery, I'm finally at a place again where I can do most of the workouts I love with little to no pain. I saw a physical therapist for a long time, I still have all sorts of issues with my SI joints/tailbone.
So, all of that to say that super strenuous workouts, especially ones where you're swinging really heavy weights around, simply are not worth it to me. They just don't seem to work for my body (or for many women's bodies if I'm being honest). I like staying fit, healthy, and active, but I'll take an aerobics class with my 8 pound dumbbells over an aggressive workout any day.
If it ain't fun, I ain't doin' it.
5. Saying "Yes" to things that I don't want to do
We live in a culture where being busy is sometimes glorified and even viewed as a sign of success. I love to go, do, and see as much as the next person, but I've learned that I tend to quickly say yes to "just one more thing" and then end up feeling overwhelmed and dreading the things I agreed to.
Now how does that make sense?
Since I've realized this about myself, I try to be really intentional about the things I agree to do. And, I try not to overfill my days/weeks with obligations even if they're "good" things that I would enjoy.
For example, if I agree to be a greeter and set up at Church on Sunday morning, I probably won't agree to sub an exercise class that same afternoon. It may seem silly, and believe me, sometimes I start thinking to myself, "I've got plenty of time. I could do both," or, "I could probably squeeze that in." But, my track record shows that those thoughts usually lead to frustration and resentment. And what's the use of agreeing to something if by the time you do it, you do so begrudgingly? I'd rather commit to one thing and be all in than complete several tasks half heartedly.
As I'm growing older, I'm slowly starting to realize that less truly is more sometimes, and busy is definitely not always better.
Have you given up anything (good or bad) in your adulthood? Could you benefit from quitting some of the same things that I've stopped doing? Let me know in the comments below!
XOXO,
Abby
We live in a culture where being busy is sometimes glorified and even viewed as a sign of success. I love to go, do, and see as much as the next person, but I've learned that I tend to quickly say yes to "just one more thing" and then end up feeling overwhelmed and dreading the things I agreed to.
Now how does that make sense?
Since I've realized this about myself, I try to be really intentional about the things I agree to do. And, I try not to overfill my days/weeks with obligations even if they're "good" things that I would enjoy.
For example, if I agree to be a greeter and set up at Church on Sunday morning, I probably won't agree to sub an exercise class that same afternoon. It may seem silly, and believe me, sometimes I start thinking to myself, "I've got plenty of time. I could do both," or, "I could probably squeeze that in." But, my track record shows that those thoughts usually lead to frustration and resentment. And what's the use of agreeing to something if by the time you do it, you do so begrudgingly? I'd rather commit to one thing and be all in than complete several tasks half heartedly.
As I'm growing older, I'm slowly starting to realize that less truly is more sometimes, and busy is definitely not always better.
Have you given up anything (good or bad) in your adulthood? Could you benefit from quitting some of the same things that I've stopped doing? Let me know in the comments below!
XOXO,
Abby
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