I am not in a great place right now.

My family and I are still reeling from the physical and emotional trauma of a devastating tornado three weeks ago that directly affected my sister and her family. On top of that, I returned to my job at the hospital this week (after a two week hiatus to assist my family), and it was absolute chaos.The COVID-19 pandemic has everyone scared and confused. I am a nurse in the surgical department, and there has been much debate over the last week about cancelling all elective surgeries. Starting next week, all elective cases will be postponed for eight weeks. So on top of everything else, now the operating room staff is panicking about how they will pay their bills. Hospital-wide, visitor restrictions keep getting tighter and tighter. Patients’ worried family members are rude and hateful to us, the health care providers, who have been assigned to screen visitors at the doors. Never mind that we’re just as worried and uncertain. Never mind that our safety guidelines are literally changing by the hour. Never mind that we’re literally putting our lives at risk by just being in our place of work. You could cut the tension at the hospital with a knife. 

We’ve also had a few days of severe weather since the March 3rd tornado. Greg and I bought an intense weather radio with all the bells and whistles. My google history includes a search for the best kinds of helmets to wear during storms. We want to install a $5,000 solid steel storm shelter in our garage. I’ve downloaded about seventeen different weather alert apps on my phone, and I sleep with my phone on loud every single night. Sleep is sacred in our household, but it hasn’t been coming easily. When I try to go to sleep at night I start imagining the terrors my sister, her family, and her neighbors must have experienced that night and I get scared. Restless, I toss and turn, which also keeps Greg awake. Not to mention, the constant weather alerts (even for things like fog) going off on my phone have been interrupting our sleep. But my peace of mind seems more important right now. The lack of sleep is starting to catch up with us though. We are irritable and fatigued. And now we’re trapped in the house together trying to self quarantine and stay safe from coronavirus. We have been supporting each other, but we want to commune with our family and friends. I’ve been feeling lonely and depressed as a result of the social distancing. 

My niece, Harper, who sustained a brain injury during the tornado is truly making leaps and bounds in her recovery. I firmly believe that with a lot of hard work and therapy over the next several months, she’ll be back to the spunky, smart two year old she was before the storm. But, I’m just frustrated that she even had to have this setback. She is so bright and full of personality. Three weeks ago, she was on the road to developing into a wonderful human being. She’s still on that road, but this new obstacle in her path just seems so unnecessary. And when I start to dwell on these thoughts, I just get overcome with emotion. Like, right now as I’m sitting here weeping while typing. 

The combination of all of these current life stresses has caused moments that feel not quite unbearable, but almost. And unfortunately, as a result, I’ve been overcome by this spirit of fear over the last few weeks.

"Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?" - Luke 12:27-28

I’ve always been afraid of being caught off guard, especially in the middle of the night. That’s why I can’t ever sleep when Greg’s not home. If he goes out of town, I usually try to tough it out alone for a few nights, but always end up sleeping at my parents’ house. For some reason, I have always had this thought that if something awful happens while Greg and I are together, it will be much better than if the same thing happens while I’m alone. I think that’s why the tornado hurts so much. I’m sad that my family experienced one of my worst fears.

I’ve also always been afraid of dying in some tragic, frightening, or painful way. My ideal way to go out is in my sleep, when I’m 95, and right by Greg’s side (obviously dying together). I’m a Christian, and I truly believe that I will be going to Heaven and spending eternity with the Godhead upon my death, but I still think it’s human nature to fear death a little bit and to long for a peaceful exit from this earth. So again, I’m devastated that many people in my home town, including my family’s neighbors and friends, lived out this fear of mine. 

I babysat Harper one morning back before Christmas. We sat in the big chairs (bar stools) and had breakfast. She was eating this muffin (most of which landed in the floor to Luna’s delight), and I remember at that exact moment feeling suddenly overcome by how much I loved her and how I never wanted anything bad to ever happen to her. I wasn’t even thinking on as large a scale as a tornado or a brain injury. I just always wanted her to have friends and to never be made fun of and to never be cheated on and to never have anyone ever be mean to her. I wanted her to always be safe. To never be in a car wreck or get some horrible illness. I wanted her life to be picture perfect, just like her. Sadly though, I couldn’t and never will be able to keep bad things from happening to the people I love, and that stirs up fear in me as well.

The silver lining in all of this though, is that even though this spirit of fear is defeating me at times, I know that it’s not from God. The apostle Paul said that, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). The Bible tells me over and over again to be strong and courageous, to fear no evil, and to not waste time worrying. And why? Because, “nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:38-39

These verses remind me that there truly is nothing to fear. Whether I die tomorrow in some tragic way, or in 60 years after a long healthy life, I will be with Jesus and those who have gone on before me! Leah DiPascal with Proverbs 31 Ministries says it better: 
“Regardless of how much suffering we’ll experience in our lifetime, one thing is for sure. A day will come when there will be no more sorrow or pain, no more heartache or tears, no more loss or suffering. Our joy will be made complete and we will come face to face with Jesus - the One and Only, who embraced the cross and bore the greatest undeserved suffering completely for us.” 

Friends, I know the entire world is feeling some anxiety and tension right now. You may be experiencing more than others. My prayer is that God, who is with us in our sufferings, will cover you with His peace that surpasses all understanding. And I also pray that if you don’t know God yet that you find Him soon! A life with Him is a life of hope. Hope that even through the darkest days of this earthly life, there is literal light at the end of the tunnel. An eternal, light-filled life with Him. 

Lots of love.

XOXO, 

Abby

I’ve been thinking a lot about clothes recently.

Fashion and styling have always been high on my list of hobbies. I truly enjoy shopping and creating outfits, keeping up with the trends, and inspiring others. Some cute new article of clothing can actually make me giddy. 

In an instant though, clothes lost all of their importance.

Last week, a deadly tornado ripped through my hometown, killing several, and completely destroying homes, my sister’s included. In a matter of seconds, my sister’s entire wardrobe was scattered across the city. She couldn’t care less. In the emergency room, the nurses literally cut the rain soaked clothing off of my family. As I ran into the ER, I saw their destroyed garments strewn all over the floor. I couldn’t care less. My sister and brother in law’s glasses were both blown off during the storm. In the ER, I gave my brother in law the glasses straight off of my face. I had just gotten new, perfect lenses without any scratches. I couldn’t care less.

I’ve pretty much worn the same no-nonsense outfit every day for the last two weeks. I haven’t styled my hair or worn makeup. I couldn’t care less. 

I’ve experienced this overwhelming feeling of apathy towards clothing (not to mention The Bachelor, COVID-19, and the political climate) in the last two weeks. Suddenly, wearing cute outfits, notifying my friends and followers about sales, and yapping about my new favorite shoes just isn’t important.
Like, at all.
My family is alive. Banged up, bruised, and hurting both physically and emotionally, but they are alive. The same cannot be said of all of their neighbors. 

I can’t stomach the idea of posting an outfit on Instagram with some stupid, cutesy caption. I can’t bear the thought of putting on scrubs and returning to work next week at the hospital. I’m not ready to start “being normal” again until the rest of my family can too. On the other hand, in this same few weeks’ time, while I’ve hardly been able to look at the clothes lining my closet, I’ve also realized the vital importance and even the healing properties of clothing.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting over the past few weeks (hence this post). Reflecting on my own clothes. On how my feelings about clothing have shifted so vastly in such a short time. On how I would feel if the contents of my wardrobe were littered all over town. And reflecting on how, by far, the most important clothes I’ve ever worn in my life (and I’ve worn a lot) are the clothes of Christ.

I was raised in church. When I was a kid, we were a “be there every time the doors were open” kind of family. I was brought up on Bible stories and was taught by my parents the never ending love of God. But there was a specific time in my life when there was a shift. When my faith was no longer solely shaped by my parents but by my personal life experiences. I chose to continue pursuing Christ because I knew that a life without Him was a life without hope. I chose to clothe myself with Christ each and every day in an attempt to further His kingdom and live a life that is pleasing to Him. Subsequently, by putting these "clothes" on every day, they’ve rooted me in faith and, in a way, prepared me for this moment. They’ve allowed me to stand firm in this most trying time and, though I still don’t understand why all of this happened, confidently proclaim God’s name. From the second I realized that the situation was truly serious that Tuesday morning, I’ve cried out to God for comfort, help, peace, and healing. I wish none of this ever happened, but I do not blame God. Like I shared in a recent Facebook post, I don’t understand why God, who makes the elements, allowed a tornado to plow my family's street the hardest while on it’s path of destruction. I don’t understand why my home and my life were spared. I question if there will ever be a day that I can make sense of it all. But my faith is not shaken. TO MY CORE, I believe that God is in control and that He works all things together for good. This is my family’s Job moment. And I pray fervently that we never have another one. But, even if every day after this brings some new tragedy, I will do my best to live out Job’s words: 

“I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!” - Job 1:21 NLT

Today and every day I have left on this earth, I will choose to wear my favorite outfit: the shining armor of God. 

XOXO,
Abby

If you would like to help monetarily during this difficult time, please consider donating to my sister and her family below. 

helpthemynattfamily.com

1. Cheer

Starting watching this show after I heard Ellen raving about it, and to say I'm obsessed would be an understatement. Since binge watching this six episode docs-series, I've started following the cast on Instagram, learned all the gym lingo, and I've been practicing my herkie to show Monica (the head coach) one day. 

2. Urban Decay Eyeshadow

I still have my OG Naked pallet from probably five years ago, but unfortunately the color "Naked" was one of the first ones to go because I used it so much. Luckily, Urban Decay offers singles of all of their eyeshadows. At $20 a pop, the singles are a little pricey, but this matte nude shade is the perfect everyday color. 

3. Power Slim Straight Jeans

The perfect jeans for spring. Love the fit, the color, the length, and the distressing.

4 Jeweled Sandals

Bought these last year and wore them all summer long! They go with everything and are the perfect amount of glitz. So happy they've been restocked this year!

5. Bombshell Perfume 

Been wearing this fragrance since smelling it on a classmate in college (and immediately purchasing it after she told me the name). I recently had someone tell me how good I smelled and ask me what I was wearing, and it reminded me of how much I love this scent! It's feminine and flirty without being overpowering. 

6. Utility Jacket

An olive green utility jacket it a must for spring in my book! I love layering it over more feminine styles like white lace or florals to really balance out a spring look. 

7. Nightfall album by Little Big Town

For some reason, I love listening to country music the most in the spring and summer. This new album is the perfect blend of fun and melancholy and is a great way to ring in the spring season. 

8. Massager

Somebody brought one of these to the break room at work recently, and now the entire OR staff has purchased one! 😂

9. Star Sneakers

Significantly cheaper than some of the designer brands out there and just as cute! 

10. Filigree Earrings

A perfect spring accessory that's under $10. 

11. "I Hate Winter" sweatshirt

Because once all the holidays are over, I'm really just counting down the days till spring. 

12. Matrix Miracle Creator

I spray this on my damp hair before combing it out. It works wonders! Moisturizes my hair (especially after getting it highlighted) without weighing it down. 

13. White Lace Dress

I just love white lace in the springtime. This sweet little dress is only $30 and would be perfect for Easter or any bridal/baby showers you may have coming up. 

14. Wine Bottle Opener

After finally getting fed up with the janky wine bottle opener I bought forever ago, I splurged on this bad boy. It's seriously legit. And so much fun to use!

15. The Betchelor Podcast

I've touched on how much I love this podcast before, but it really is so funny. I almost look forward to it more than actually watching The Bachelor. Friendly tip though: probably not appropriate to listen to with kids in the car. 

XOXO, 

Abby

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*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

Say what you will about Valentine's Day being invented by the candy companies, but I LOVE IT! I've always been a sucker for cutesy gifts and romantic gestures, so Valentine's Day is right up my alley.
And even more so than Valentine's Day, I love GALENTINE'S DAY! 

If you're not familiar, Galentine's Day is a holiday made up by Leslie Knope (not a real person) on Parks and Rec (TV show that you must watch). It's usually celebrated on February 13th and spent with all of your best gal pals. I don't know about you, but I've honestly always gotten WAY better Valentine treats from the women in my life than I have from any men - nothing surprising there. I specifically remember a year in college when I and most of my roomies were single. We got each other more gifts - cards, flowers, dinner at The Cheesecake Factory - that year than any of our coupled friends got, and I enjoyed every second of it. Until I almost threw up from eating too many chocolates...

Today, I'm partnering with The Pink Lily Boutique to share two cute and casual looks that would be perfect for a Galentine's Day date. And I'll also give you some fun ideas on ways to spend G-Day with your BFFs!

Tee / Similar Cardigan / Similar Jeans / Similar Booties

Sweater / Similar Jeans / Similar Hat / Similar Booties

13 Galentine's Day Ideas:

1. Head to brunch...preferably somewhere with bottomless Mimosas, obvi!

2. Get massages! I've been dying to go to this spa in Nashville, but Greg will never go. Where my Galentines at???

3. Mani/Pedi's

4. Grab coffee and then go shopping

5. Take a day trip somewhere new

6. Send flowers

7. Pizza and Rom Com Night

8. Get blowouts and hit up happy hour

9. Go to a workout class together and dinner afterwards
10. Get tickets to a concert
11. Visit a winery
12. Catch the latest chick flick at the movies (and share a vat of popcorn)

13. ALL OF THE ABOVE?!?


fun galentine gift ideas

*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

Hi, my sweet e-friends! Hope you all have had a prosperous New Year so far. As many of you may know, I took a brief hiatus from social media (particularly Instagram and Facebook) while I participated in 21 days of Prayer and Fasting. This is something that my church does twice a year. We were all encouraged to fast from something in our lives for 21 days and spend the time normally spent doing said "thing" instead communing with God in some way. Up until now, I'd never joined in. 

Thanks to a new women's study group I've also become a part of over the last year, I have been learning more about the Holy Spirit and His presence in my life. During all the excess surrounding the holiday season, I was feeling lead to take a break from the socials anyway. When they announced at church one Sunday in December that 21 Days was coming up, I knew now was my time. 

So, starting January 6th, I deleted my Instagram and Facebook apps. I jotted down some ideas of things to do to when I was stumped on how to fill the time I usually spent online: pray (obvi), read, declutter, call someone, etc. And, I ventured forward with high hopes. 

21 Days later, here's some of the things I learned.

earrings / sweater

I didn't miss it.

Sure, the first few days I caught myself picking up my phone to open the Instagram app an embarrassing number of times. But after a while, I got used to it, and I truly enjoyed the break. I found myself finally finishing things that I'd been neglecting for months. I deleted THOUSANDS of old blog pictures from the cloud that never made it to a post. I finished the PBS docu-series on Country Music that I started in October. I cleaned out my closet a bit and made several sales on Poshmark. I felt more engaged at work. My marriage grew stronger. I slept deeper (as evidenced by the intensely vivid dreams I've had almost every. single. night.) I realized how much I loved my own life and the material things I've been blessed with. I didn't feel near as much jealousy, nor did I envy what others had. I felt less stressed overall, and my spiritual life was refreshed. 

It wasn't a cure all.

About a week into all of this, I was feeling overall more positive vibes in my life. However, while I felt no longing for social media, I also didn't feel like I'd had any Spiritual growth...which was sort of the whole point. I had an epiphany one night in bed (or dare I say the Spirit suggested to me) that I was just filling the time I normally spent on the internet with other stuff to keep me busy. The phrase, "stop being so busy," came to my mind.
I've been trying really hard to be ok with not multitasking. To be ok with just sitting and having a long conversation with someone. Or spending time in God's presence or enjoying His creation and not worrying about the things I think I need to be doing. It's still a work in progress, but I've been trying to intentionally not overfill my plate with things that really aren't important. 

I'm worried about coming back. 

Ok, let's back up...when I first started Abbylish, almost 2 years ago, I honestly viewed it as a potential career change. I had big dreams of leaving the nursing profession and working for myself making six figures, rolling in brand deals and hundreds of thousands of followers. Instagram would have you believe that most other millennials are doing just that!

So while I was preparing for this "big life change," I did offer up a prayer or two because I wanted God to bless this endeavor and to make sure that fashion blogging would be a Christlike career (I went to a Christian college, and in nursing school, they really tried to push the idea that as nurses we were the hands and feet of Jesus. So let's just say choosing a "Godly profession" was heavily emphasized during my formative years...maybe too much so). I took the plunge though, without really waiting for an answer from God, and I gave it my all. 

After months of frustration, self doubt, comparison, self-induced stress, and a little bit of fun here and there, I came to the realization that Abbylish is just a hobby for me, and I'm most definitely better off. Full time influencers are LITERALLY full time. Like 24/7 full time. They are subjected to some of the cruelest comments I've ever read. I even started thinking about how I would manage my time if I worked for myself. I can't imagine it going well. 😳

On top of all that, all of the things you have to do to "grow" your online presence and therefore gain more business, is baffling to me. You need lots of followers, but you also need followers who are engaged. So you better engage with others to get them to engage back! Comment! Like! Save! Share!

I can't tell you how many times I've created a post about something very heartfelt, and all of the comments are "cute shirt, babe!" It's nobody's fault, really. Unfortunately, it's just how the game is played. But the disingenuousness and inauthenticity of it all was just starting to wear me down. 

All that being said, I'm a little hesitant to return! I'm concerned about promoting consumerism and materialism. I've always enjoyed fashion and shopping, but you don't need the shoes, and I'm tired of telling you that you do. I'm also concerned about protecting my marriage. I realized how selfish I've been in practically forcing my husband to take part in my hobby. He's been so helpful since Day 1 with taking all of my photos and building my website. But he doesn't enjoy it. And, I'd rather spend our weekends doing something together that we both love instead of gallivanting all over town to take outfit pics. And finally, social media itself, although not an inherently bad thing, yields to feelings of discontent. I love our home. I love the clothes in my closet. I love the trips we take. But when I see what others have, even others I know and love, I somehow feel like mine's not enough.

.

In the end, I will always enjoy fashion, styling outfits, and sharing where I got cute pieces. 

 I enjoy sharing blog posts like these with the ten of you who read them. 😉 I enjoy using social media to express creativity and to connect with people in my own city and in cities all over the world. I like taking pretty pictures and encouraging others to try something new.

I'm still on the fence about it all. I'm wary of jumping back in but also fearful of walking away completely. Prayers are appreciated while I work through some of these emotions and thoughts. Just wanted to give you all an update and be as transparent as possible! 

I also encourage every singe one of you to take a break from social media every so often. Whether it's a week, a month, or a year, I guarantee you will emerge from the experience refreshed and renewed. Let me know if you try it!! 

XOXO, 

Abby



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*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

So I realize I'm a little late...Oprah always shared her favorite things before Christmas. But that's like literally the only difference between me and Oprah. 

Anyway, I had an idea the other day to share some of the things (clothing, beauty products, home goods, etc.) that I'm currently loving. I was initially just going to share five (as that's my favorite number), but once I got started, I realized I actually have a few more things that I think are really worth your time. Fourteen to be exact!

Keep scrolling to see the things I'm obsessing over at the moment. Best part: everything is $100 and under, and most items are less than $50!

*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

Last year, we went to a 90s cover band concert in Nashville and then had breakfast at Monell's after midnight. The year before that, Greg and I got in the worst fight we've ever been in 😂 (story for another day), and the year before THAT, we had a pajama party at our house. 

All of the NYEs before that are a bit of a blur, but I know they've always been spent surrounded by friends and family. 

I can't remember how I rang in 2010, the first year of this decade. But I'm excited to start the new one, even if it's on the couch in my jams. Maybe it's the fact that I'm in my late 20s, but starting a whole new decade seems to carry a lot more weight than it did in 2010.

Praying for a prosperous and blessing-filled decade, for myself, and for each and every one of you! Can't wait to see where we're all at this time in 2029!

XOXO, 

Abby



more great ideas

*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*

*I receive a small commission for purchases made through links in this post.

However, I simply promote the brands and products that I love, and all opinions are my own.*